Here again...

Well... we're here again... my beauties... my absolute beauties.

We thought this time would be different. We thought we had done the hard work. We thought we had nailed it. Yet... here we are.

I'm sorry my darling. I'm sorry we didn't get rid of the germs. I sorry that this infection was stronger than we anticipated. I'm sorry you feel powerless and out of control and oh so alone. It's hard.

We've all had such different experiences which have brought with them their own aspects of joy and trauma. Some people have struggled with money or with work. Some with relationships or family or their living environment. Others have struggled with grief or with fear of their own health. It has been hard. We've all felt it. And if you haven't felt it on a personal level, you will have, no doubt, felt the common anxiety. You will have soaked up the communal fear that we have shared so generously. You may have found yourself feeling emotion that you didn't understand, that you couldn't rationalise... however... last time that Thursday-night-clapping comradery pulled us through. We were a community in unison. We fought against our joint threat. Together, we had a combined objective. But now? Now? Maybe not so much.

We did that. We worked as a combined force and where did it get us? It got us nowhere. It got us right back to the beginning. And what's the point of looking out for others if that doesn't work? So frustrating. And with the frustration of martyrdom, comes the rage. So. Much. Rage.

It's out there. Anger is laced through the telling of conspiracy theories. Anger hides in our judgements of people who choose not to wear masks. Rage spills out towards the people we're protecting. Aggression is released towards the people who make decisions. We feel resentment towards the people we have to share our space with. If not already, you'll be feeling it soon enough. Just a quick trawl through social media will nudge it your way.

It's this scope and severity of anger that scares me more than the virus itself. Because with anger comes snap decisions and broken relationships. And once you show anger to the world, it's tricky to go back. Once people see the anger in you...

Initially the rage rises and it creates a powerful energy within. This power leads you (sometimes falsely) to believe that you are 'right' and justified in the actions it propels you to take. However these actions are followed by hidden guilt crossed with an inability to take responsibility for any consequences because that, quite frankly, would be far too painful to consider.

In David Hawkins book, Letting Go, he describes that anger is binding, not freeing. He is so articulate (thank you David) in explaining how anger connects us to the other person, idea or opinion. The anger connects us and holds us in a life pattern. Despite the initial surge of energy that spurs us to action, we later get stuck in this pattern, reliving the argument or justification. It closes you mind and restricts the options to move forward until you are at a point when you are able to relinquish the emotion.

But that's hard. Relinquishment is hard because part of that process is being brave enough to acknowledge the shadow aspects of yourself. So, my beauty, let's be gentle... During this crazy time that is swirling with anger, let's go slow...

Firstly, notice the anger. Notice the anger of others. No judgement. These are angry times. No need to add another layer of judgement inwards to yourself or outwards to others. These are angry times so simply notice. The thoughts, the physical sensations. Just notice and identify it as it is... anger.

Let go of the anger of others. That's their anger, not yours. Turn it to love towards their underlying frustration or fear. Your anger? Let it fire up your day to day ambitions. Let the energy charge your actions in a useful way. Let it inspire you to create and maintain (not destroy). Let it be the energy that helps you rise out of this crappy situation and find joy in the moment.

You've got this. We've got this. You're not alone darling. It's going to be alright xxx.